It finally happened…

I hit 300lbs.

Honestly, I’m ashamed. I’m 31 and 300lbs and I remember telling myself all my life, “It’s okay, just don’t hit 300.”

It’s easy to blame COVID, but let’s face facts, whether or not I’ve had access to a gym is no excuse. I even prefer doing calisthenics, so whether I’m in a gym or not, I can work out… I just don’t… like an idiot. You know what’s worse? My new job even has a small group of people who do daily planking in the late afternoon. They all hop on a call together and do planks for a little while, then go back to work. I have no reason to have ever hit 300lbs.

Now, don’t get me wrong! This isn’t meant to body-shame anybody. I totally understand and respect the people who can sit at their current weight and still be happy. I’m just not one of those people. I’ve been dissatisfied with my weight my entire life and keep making excuses. I can’t do that anymore. In fact, it’s not just that, it’s everything.

Ever since I started VTubing, my sleeping schedule and eating habits have suffered. In fact, admittedly, even my work has suffered. Because of this, as I stood on the scale today and stared at the big “308” number I realized that I needed to prioritize myself.

I love VTubing, but I need to make it fit my lifestyle, not make my lifestyle fit it. As such, I’m going to take a step back. I recently released a Schedule, but that won’t stick. My streams will be unplanned and mostly “in the moment” kind of things moving forward at least until I can make sure the rest of my life is organized and properly laid out.

I need to start getting used to going to bed and waking up earlier. Work will only suffer more if I’m literally giving myself 2 minutes to go from bed to meeting every morning. I’m also going to try to go to the gym more often and stick to it. On my own. No more personal trainer. Sure, as I stated, I can work out at home, but I have literally no excuse to not just drive to the gym, which I actually enjoy being in. I’m going to start attending those planking meetings, too!

I guess I’ll cook food at home more often, too… >.>

Once I can get a healthy lifestyle going, I’ll begin to reconsider having a more structured streaming schedule, but let’s face it: Until streaming can pay all the expenses that my current job pays, it’ll need to be a long time before I let streaming take the lead on defining my priorities and time.

So… wanna work out together?